In prehistoric times, a pre-blogging world where film was loaded digitally via fingers into SLRs and the word status was used alongside symbol rather than to describe ‘What’s on your mind?’ or ‘What’s happening?’ (aka the Dark Ages of 2003), a self-proclaimed London Meeja Ho bought a one-way ticket to Argentina to travel the globe. She said […]Read more "YOU CAN TAKE THE GIRL OUT OF MTV, BUT YOU CAN’T TAKE THE EMPTV OUT THE GIRL"
Fatty Deposito is a fat lump. A massive five-inch eyesore of a gelatinous lump. He is ending his life being hacked out of my body in a third world hospital in Argentina with the name and birth date of the Canadian blonde whose identity I’ve stolen wrapped around my wrist. If I die right here […]Read more "THE LIFE AND DEATH OF FATTY DEPOSITO R.I.P."
As a kind of foreplay before mating, female giraffes will urinate in the male’s mouth. – Uberfacts My rules used to be “No shit, no blood, no piss”. Now they’re simply “No shit, no piss”. Blood is fine. You get used to it when your ex’s party trick is removing your tampon with his teeth and […]Read more "MR. PAIN"
“I can’t get the apple off the head. It’s sore. The Sharpie hurt it. The tip is most sensitive, you know?”Read more "THE TICKING DICK"
We met on the platform at Tottenham Court Road, chatted in Spanish and then kissed, lots… in a South American way, not a British way. I didn’t even check if he was an erudite, literary, cultured, stylish cunt (with a long tongue). I just got off at my stop, Chalk Farm. Not un-nice at all… […]Read more "I kissed an Argentinian man on the tube"
E-mail originally written & sent home in May 2003 – after a week on a boat sleeping in a hammock in ‘rather close’ quarters – heading up the Amazon river from Manaus, Brazil to the tri-border of Brazil/ Columbia/ Peru. … SLOW being an understatement. I have finally made it out of Brazil after 4 […]Read more "Jungle Barbie & The Slow Boat to Peru"
E-mail originally written & sent home in Nov 2004 – a time when the good luck ran low. Makes you wonder about karma. As Dusty Springfield and the Pet Shop Boys so eloquently and groovily put it “What have I, what have I, what have I done to deserve this?”. Wish it’d been a bit […]Read more "Library goggles, Locationships & Sliding Doors"