my life (well, car) has gone downhill since you left

car_crash_by_ldhxvs

my car is deaded

after I t-boned a cop car

which killed it.

i got shock

and whiplash,

have a throat infection,

glands like golf balls

and can’t swallow.

(insert gag here.)

thought I was gonna have a baby and

have approx 60 bites from

bed bugs-slash-midge-type things.

bizarrely, all since you left.

anything you wanna tell me?

like…

… do you have fleas?

 

Text sent in 2004 after a night spent with an Australian breaks DJ over in New Zealand on tour (he shall remain nameless).

  

He simply replied, “I told my girlfriend my bruises were from a fight”.

 

Funnily enough he’d never mentioned her.

  .

Is it a poem if I press return every so often?

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2 thoughts on “my life (well, car) has gone downhill since you left

  1. Funny, I read it as witty as well. Perhaps he simply could not read. You know, being illiterate it is a problem facing many people today (and apparently having no toilet).

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